Suicide: My Experience and the Analytics
It was finals week. Flashcards are strewn across the floor as I’m in a bout of self-pitty about the struggles of studying. I reflect on how the next week of my life is going to be hard. Little did I know that just a few doors away someone was contemplating ending theirs. It’s never a situation I expected to find myself in as an RA. One moment wrapped up in your own life, the next finding someones else’s in your hands. It’s an experience I have never forgotten, and a story I have and will never fully tell anyone.
I met with the student early that evening and our conversation carried early into the next morning. What did we talk about for a lot of that time? Mostly nothing. I grabbed a chair, sat down, and remained completely silent for the first 20 minutes. Silence can be painful around those you are not comfortable with, but in that moment there was nothing either of us needed to say. Over the course of the next few hours, the student opened up to me about their life, and what had led them to this moment. I just sat and listened. To them feelings of suicide and opening up were signs of weakness but as I will show opening up takes extreme bravery.
The Analytics of Suicide
On an average day, a suicide hotline receives 200–300 calls. Is that a lot? Unfortunately, in context, it might not be enough. Using the SimilarWeb chrome extension I found that suicide hotline websites typically receive anywhere from 200K to upwards of 700K web hits in a single month (In June the National Suicide line had 520K visits). On average, this means that potentially only 1.6% to 4.6% (margin of error is high) of people who are suicidal seek help through a hotline. It’s also possible people use the “chat feature” on these websites but I currently have no way to analyze that traffic. One hypothesis I have about these low figures is the negative stigma our culture has about suicide.
A Cultural Taboo
People who are suicidal will often tell you they feel alone. In a digital world where we can talk to billions of people instantly at any time shouldn’t we be feeling more connected now than ever? If this were the case people would use popular Social Networking sites like Facebook and Twitter to open up to their friends and family about depression right? Again I analyzed the suicidepreventionlifeline.org website and the breakdown of their traffic from Social Network sources.
The top social channel where the suicide prevention resource is shared is on Reddit with 78.50%, with a far away second being Youtube at 14.14%. These findings are significant because on networking sites like Reddit and Youtube it’s easy to remain completely anonymous and the people you interact with are strangers. People struggling with depression often don’t share their issues on platforms like Facebook out of fear of ridicule or judgement from peers. But if someone is showing signs, make sure you know what to do.
How to Help
You don’t need expert training to help save a life. The best thing you can do for someone who is showing signs of depression and suicide is to be there for them. If someone is depressed and you believe they are suicidal follow the QPR method:
Question: Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they are suicidal. You will be surprised how honest people will be if you are genuine.
Persuade: If someone tells you he or she is suicidal persuade them to get help. If they need to go to a hospital or anywhere else offer your hand in support to go with them.
Refer: Refer that person to someone who can help them. Maybe it’s a parent, a friend, a coach, counsellor, etc.
If you want to help either friends or strangers dealing with depression or suicide become a resource for them. Make a post on Facebook letting people know they can talk to you, go on Reddit threads like R/Depression and give hope to those who may have none.
Mental Health Days
A forward thinking approach corporations and businesses can use is to allow employees “mental health days”. These are not sick days, and there is no limit to how many an employee can have. Our employees bright minds are a strong asset, and when they aren’t operating at 100% they are not providing value to the business. Respect your employees, and if they tell you they need a day for mental health don’t question them. If they are a good employee they will not abuse your lenient policy, and they will pay you back in productivity and creating a positive company culture.
Closing Thoughts
After the events of that night unfolded I went to bed wondering if I had really made a difference in that person’s life. I know I could not cure their depression, but did I at least show them the value and importance of their life? The next morning I got a knock on the door and it was that resident. They had come to me personally to thank me for what I had done and how I had saved them from a very dark place. But I’m not the hero in this story. Helping someone in need is the purpose of our existence, being able to turn to someone and admit you need help when society teaches you to bottle it up is true heroism.
Remember you are never alone. If you are having suicidal thoughts be sure to let someone know or contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Note: The student mentioned in the article has given me permission to write about this. I thank you.
